It's amazing how long it takes to look over one's life with honesty and sincerity, taking the good with the bad, in 
order to make sense of how one arrived where they are. I recall feeling as if I was waiting to catch up to the age I really was - and I still feel this way - as if my real age has always lagged behind the way I interpret what I take in through my senses. I can relate to every age, and people often seek me out to tell me their life stories without knowing why. This is my gift - to listen, to guide, to nurture, to seek resource, and to provide peace to those who can hear it.
As a child, I embraced life and felt like I lived between this world and the next, where my feet never 
really touched the ground. As an adult, I can retreat to that place anytime I want to, having never lost my ability to tap into "the ether," and my faith in The Creator has blossomed into a worry-free, endlessly grateful and utterly submitted covenant and promise to seek the truth through His word. I have endless gratitude, and live my life to please God, Most Gracious. I still feel like I'm catching up to who I really am, but I have peace of mind, and feel closer to that idea today than I ever have.
It all began with my pursuit of a teaching career, a decision speared by the desire I had to teach 
since I was five years old; when I told my mother with a certain matter-of-factness, "I am going straight to high school and teach the teacher!" I had often wondered why I was led in that direction when I was most interested in writing and reading before that. I spoke in sentences from the age of five months, learned to walk by nine months, and was reading by the age of two. My favorite book by the age of five was a fourth grade science book called "Science For You." I wrote my first short story series at seven years old, and at 11, was typing 111 words per minute with a 98% accuracy, and committed my early writings to word processor - my preferred writing medium today. By the age of 13, I was proof reading and editing college research papers, term papers and essays and had my own business - Tamara's Typing Jobs where I charged two - three dollars per page.
My traditional education was limited, as it lasted for about a month in only fifth and sixth grades, but it took me years to realize that I didn't really miss anything. I started college at 13 years old as a dual enrollment student with no previous grade school, middle school or high school experience. I rivaled 4 other dual enrollment students from a school owned by a friend of my mother's, and who were preparing to go to college - a rivalry outside of my knowledge at that time. I watched 
them as they attended class and took their tests, but they never spoke to me. They were three to four years older than I was. I got the only "A" in the African American Studies course that we took that semester. That next semester, I started college part time seeking to transfer from the community college to Eastern Michigan University after I had accumulated enough credits for a program in special education. At 13 years old, I knew nothing about a career pursuit and did not have any mentorship to guide me in any particular direction. Only the statement I made at five years old led my mother in any particular direction, and so, became my reason for wanting to teach.
My transfer to EMU 4 years later led me to realize that I did not want to pursue Special Education, as I wanted to work with the Deaf and Hearing Impaired. My father learned the alphabet in 
American Sign Language during his time in the army, and taught it to me around the time I was 5 years old. I was fascinated by sign language and the Deaf community ever since. However, at EMU, I found myself learning about mental and physical handicaps. After finding out that there existed no programs specifically for me to graduate with a degree in Sign Language, or to be an educator specifically in the Deaf community without taking special education, I ended up leaving EMU and decided to pursue Elementary Education without the focus in the Deaf and Hearing Impaired. I do not personally know anyone who is Deaf, by the way. My desire to work in this avenue was purely due to my love of and fascination with people.
I attended the University of Detroit Mercy and enrolled in their Waldorf Education program for Elementary Education as my mother had often wanted me to attend their school but could not afford it. It was here, at 22 years old, that I received my first real glimpse of mentorship, although it did not last, and was surrounded by people who seemed to be aware that I was a little bit different from everyone else. I was provided an opportunity to work in an educational environment at first as a teacher's aide, and then branched off into teaching due to "natural abilities to teach" per an incredibly kind and generous staff at the Waldorf School. I taught visual arts and physical education as well as note taking techniques to "last chance" students between the ages of 12 and 18 years old at a newly established charter school.
I was laid off 2 years later with around 75 other people, while striving to complete my career training in something I thought belonged to me. I was required to work 40 hours a week as a teacher's aide, but worked 60 hours actually teaching subjects and being there for the children as a nuturer far after the hours for work had ended. My duty was to the children, and not the 
establishment. This was the ultimate difference in not being in the traditional education system. I recognized that I was retained or let go for business purposes instead of retained for the needs of those who truly needed me and my services. This way of doing things wasn't growing me as a person, but simply making me suitable for the approval of others. Why did I take that opportunity to analyze being laid off on the level of "This education is for the purpose of allowing someone else to decide whether I was what they wanted or not, and not for the purpose of fulfilling my dreams and goals to teach, or for the needs of others who sought mentorship and guidance." Simply because I am not one to invest in something that isn't truly mine. Making yourself suitable for the approval of business minds is one thing - and making yourself suitable for your own approval and the approval of others in need is quite another.
My purpose is to help living men and women with their needs, as it is who I am to be helpful. I began to study who I was, and how others interacted with me, and what I truly loved to do, and where I could see myself going in life. I began to study MYSELF. This journey led me to realize where my expertise really was: in research, in writing, in entrepreneurship, in the establishment of business, in debt recovery and credit restoration, in the experience of living souls, in graphic design, brought me to psychology, then to social work, and then finally - to Life Coaching! For the next 7 years, I created a career out of fulfilling the needs of others in a helping capacity by providing resources and the use of my skills as a "workman worthy of his hire" per the Maxims of Law. I wrote two books and started 5 more, as well as wrote various articles and blog posts, and have done hundreds of hours of research on various topics that impact the lives of people all around the world.
I am looking forward to sharing my experiences with you on your own journey and helping you to piece together your own purpose. Keep up with my blog and send me a message if you're interested in assistance with finding your true direction in life.
